Dreaming Between the Pages
by rebellion101
Summary: Tessa Gray has always been fascinated by books and the stories held within them. One series in particular has haunted her for years with its eerie similarities to her own life, which have to be simple coincidences, right? But when an accident occurs she finds herself in an even odder situation where she has somehow been transported within the novel that has been haunting her.
1. Prologue

_**Dreaming Between the Pages**_

 **Prologue**

 **The Beginning**

" _I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) the world and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world. This makes it hard to plan the day." E.B. White_

 _Dear Mother,_

 _I can easily see why—now—that this is your favorite quote. It describes you, the way you look at life with wanting to enjoy the day's events that come our way and at the same time wanting to improve them in some way so the day can be even greater. Two options that do not completely coincide with one another and yet, for the most part, you made it work. You were a loving mother and a courageous superwoman all in one._

 _It's too bad it's taken me this long and these past few events to transpire for me to fully see you in that light. To see everything you had done…for me…for everyone._

 _Today was the last session I had with Dr. Greenburrow. It's safe to say I'm relieved and happy. I even skipped out of his office earlier as if I was six years old again—I don't think anyone saw me though, but even if they did I don't particularly care, I'm not likely to run into them again._

 _It's not that Dr. Greenburrow is an evil man, far from it. He was nice and helpful as helpful as someone can be for a grief therapist. But I'm simply glad to have that stage of my life finished, to be able to move on. Well…for the most part…_

 _Which brings me to this journal of letters. Dr. Greenburrow suggested—at least he would say it was a suggestion, it sounded more like a demand to me—that I should start writing you letters now that our sessions are over. He told me that it will '_ keep alive your memory in a healthy way _'. Healthy way? What ways exactly would be the unhealthy ones?_

 _Regardless, I don't see the harm in writing letters about my day to you even though you will never receive them. They seem more of a benefit for me than to you. I do not know if this will be a continuing project as I think we both know how boring and uneventful a life like mine is, but we'll see._

 _As for now there is not much else to say. Life here in North Carolina is different for certain from the life I had back in New York. For one there's more animal life and two unless someone is taking a late night drive or swim in the lake its quiet. Eerily quiet. I don't understand how people can sleep in such silence! It greatly puzzles me. Uncle Alex, Aunt Harriet, and Cousin Nate are doing well and Nate just left two weeks ago for college. He went all the way over to the University of Oklahoma much to Aunt Harriet's dislike. I guess I have to start wearing the colors crimson and cream, not the worst colors in the world._

 _But it's getting late and I have an oral English presentation to worry about. Well, it's more of a memorization than a presentation. I have to recite 'Break, break, break' by Alfred Lord Tennyson and 'We Are Seven' by William Woodsworth. Not the most cheerful poems , but neither are too dreadfully long. I only hope that when I'm standing in front of everyone that the words don't slip out of my head or get jumbled by my tongue that would be my greatest fear for the day._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Theresa_

 _P.S. I miss you. I know how much you loved quotes—that quotes were the lingering memories while the book was the soul—so I'll try and put a quote on top of each letter just for you._

The day had gone by mostly uneventful for Tessa. She had turned in her English paper that she shamefully spent the entire previous night writing and had presented her fifteen minute demonstration of the Electronic Circuit Theory by using Ohm's Law for her Physics class which was the culprit for why her English paper had been written the last minute. She hoped for a B on her Physics presentation and she expected nothing less than a C for her English paper. It wasn't her best paper ever written, but whose one-night paper ever really is.

She was sitting outside the school watching the buses and kids leave while waiting for Mandy to finish up with her Language class. Although how much it counted as a foreign language class Tessa wasn't sure since it was sign language.

She glanced down at her watch nervously. They only had fifteen minutes to get to the bookstore if they were going to be at work on time. If they ran they could probably make it, although Mandy would complain especially if she was wearing her stilettos again. But Tessa had yet to be late for her part-time job or really any serious commitment and she didn't want to start now.

With another two minutes that passed by Tessa stood up from the low brick wall ready to start her sprint alone when Mandy came out of the school, face glowing red, hopping up and down like a rabbit with one of the biggest grins on her face.

It wasn't too unusual to see Mandy in this state, but it still caught Tessa by surprise since Mandy was leaving school looking like she had just one the national lottery.

"I found him! I found him!" she shouted at Tessa as soon as she came within hearing range. She leaped over, clasped Tessa's hands in hers, and continued to jump up and down. She was really starting to look like a lunatic.

Looking around to see if anybody was paying attention—few were—Tessa pulled Mandy over to the side and asked, "Found who exactly?"

"You know who," Mandy replied wriggling her eyebrows. Tessa was really starting to worry about the sanity of her friend when Mandy reached into her canvas bag and pulled out an object.

As soon as Tessa saw what was in her friend's hands she let out an agitated groan and immediately started walking away.

"Tessa, wait!" Mandy called rushing after her. "It's really him this time, I swear."

"Not this again, Mandy, we've been through this already. And, besides, it can't actually be him, that's impossible. He's not real."

Having caught up to Tessa, Mandy let out a quick laugh. "Of course it's not really him. But it's someone who acts just like him, I swear Craig—that's the him I found—acts just like him. It's the second best thing other than having the real one, which," Mandy let out an exaggerated sigh, "is sadly not possible." Then with a wicked grin, she added, "At least for now, but science is getting pretty advanced with all their cloning and all sorts of other stuff they aren't telling us about."

Rolling her eyes, Tessa replied, "I doubt scientists are coming up with a prototype in making fictional characters from books come to life in order to satisfy a teenage girl's character crush obsession."

"Sadly, that's probably true. They just don't realize how much money they could get from creating something so use—hey, what do you mean crush obsession!?" Mandy twisted her head to the side giving Tessa a scolding glare.

Tessa quickened up the pace as they approached one of the many corners towards the town's center, at this rate they were going to be late. "You know I don't mean anything by it, Mandy. But you have become a little obsessed by those books, specifically over the boy characters. You bring the books with you everywhere you go and try to find people in the real world who match up with the descriptions in the book, which is never going to come out to be a complete match up, because those boys do not exist. You're just going to have to settle for the average, ordinary boys who live in reality." Tessa quickly crossed the street as Mandy followed on her heels practically breathing down her neck.

"Oh, you're one to talk," Mandy quickly responded as she clutched her book as if it was a bullet proof shield. "I remember your Sydney Carton days' when all you could talk about was the _Tale of Two Cities_ and your heart belonged to no one other than Sydney Carton, who I'm sorry, was a drunk and a failure and someone who I will never understand why you loved so much."

"I was not in love with Sydney Carton," Tessa replied through clenched teeth. "I liked his character who yes in the beginning wasn't the most dream worthy hero but by the end showed how much of a heart he had and how much he was willing to change which says a lot about his character. And that willingness is more important than the perfection or imperfection as the case may be. But I…I just don't want to talk about those books, or those characters, or…anything that has to do with the Infernal Devices series." Casting a sideways glance, Tessa asked, "Okay, Mands?"

With furrowed brows Mandy reluctantly placed her copy of Clockwork Prince back into her bag without another word and kept her gaze straight ahead. Tessa let out a long breath, relieved and slightly guilty.

It wasn't that Tessa hated the series or couldn't stand the characters. She actually greatly enjoyed the books. It was just that…they were eerie. Specifically the one character, the character that had made her pick up the book in the first place and eventually introduce Mandy to the series.

Tessa Gray.

The character with her name.


	2. Hit and Run

**Chapter 1**

 **Hit and Run**

" _Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth." Henry David Thoreau_

 _Dear Mother,_

 _I don't know how I can explain to you everything that is going on. Honestly, I can barely understand it all myself. The only thing I know for sure is that I don't want it to end; I don't ever want it to go away. And maybe it's crazy for me to say that…_

… _maybe, I'm crazy._

 _But…even if I am I don't think I care, which should probably scare me more than it does._

 _And I think I'm going to take Henry Thoreau's advice, because it's good advice, right? I hope so. Because I don't know how I'm going to tell_ him _the truth._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Theresa_

The cover as with most books was what first drew Tessa Gray to the novel. It was an elegant design of a boy dressed in Victorian clothing in the Young Adult books section, a section that Tessa hadn't actually visited in a while having been taken away by the classics for a long period of time. But this book just seemed to be screaming her name. And opening the cover Tessa learned why.

One of the characters in the book had her name, not just her first name but her last name as well and because of that, without reading anything else about it, Tessa had purchased the book on the spot.

I mean how often do you come across a book with your first name in it? How often is the character with your name a main, important character? How often does that character have your first _and_ last name? Not very often, definitely. A one in a million, probably.

But once Tessa actually started reading the book did she truly see what exactly she had gotten herself into. It wasn't like the character's Tessa was an exact perfect imitation of the Tessa in real life.

For starters the book was written in the perspective of the 19th century almost a galaxy away compared to today. So naturally their opinions and the way they thought and lived would differ. But what was strange and honestly quite creepy was how similar their lives appeared to be.

The fact that they both had an Aunt Harriet, one married and the other unmarried. The fact that they both had a Nate in their lives, one Nathan the cousin and the other Nathaniel who was thought-to-be-a-brother-but-turned-out-to-be-a-cousin. The fact that they both loved reading and that one of their favorite books was a Tale of Two Cities. The fact that they both were born in New York and for the most part spent their childhoods there until one lost their mother and the other their aunt. The fact that they were both orphans, which sadly wasn't a truth when Tessa first started reading the novels. Her mother had still been alive then.

And then of course there was Axel Mortmain.

And while the real Tessa had no Axel Mortmain in her life trying to marry her she did have her Uncle who was married to her Aunt Harriet. Alexander Moraine. Still too close of an association for comfort.

The fact that there were all these similarities between her and the book's character always set Tessa on edge. Because coincidence's only went so far, didn't they? It was a miracle enough to find a book with a character who had her name but the miracle should have ended there.

The fact that it didn't was what made the series eerie to Tessa and as much as she had enjoyed it she didn't want to talk about it that much. It was still all too strange for her.

"I hope she picks Jem, one person deserves to be happy," Mandy said beside Tessa. Her voice was small, a characteristic so unlike Mandy, but it was steady. She looked over at Tessa with a steady gaze. "Don't you?"

It was a question Tessa couldn't answer. A question neither Tessa apparently could answer. For there was Will, the brightest star, and the one that caught her attention from the beginning. But then there was Jem, the steady flame, the one that had always been there but had taken until the second book to notice. Tessa wasn't sure which one she liked the most; she didn't think she could choose. They were very different from each other, two separate individuals—well, characters—but there was something strong that connected the two of them together that made them one person in a way, that made it so hard to choose. And that made Tessa, the real Tessa, jealous of the character Tessa who had two great guys in her life when the real Tessa had none.

Startled, Tessa shook her head at the thought. _Am I honestly getting jealous of a character from a book series? I am_ way _too invested in this._

"We're going to be late if we don't pick up our pace," was Tessa's only answer to Mandy as Tessa took off into a sprint, heading for the next major corner.

"You never answered the question," Mandy shouted uselessly to the wind before she too picked up her pace. Her start was late so she was several feet behind Tessa when she saw the car. "Tessa lo—!"

But it was too late as the sound of screeching and the dull thud of a body hitting the concrete filled the air.

The last thing Tessa saw was the blue sky.


	3. Insanity

**Chapter 2**

 **Insanity**

" _Good humor may be said to be one of the very best articles of dress one can wear in society." William Makepeace Thackeray_

 _Dear Mother,_

 _I have to say I agree with Mr. William and I'm not simply stating that because of the fact that Aunt Harriet has insisted that she is going to take me dress shopping, shoe shopping, and the salon tomorrow and anything else she can squeeze into the day._

 _Sigh. I love Aunt Harriet, you know I do, of course. But sometimes it can be a bit exhausting living up to everything she has planned for me. She wants me to be the best as would you, but her demands and expectations are honestly making me dizzy. Just the other day she handed me brochures for med school. Can you believe that, med school, when I haven't even come close to thinking about my major for college yet? I really doubt it will have anything to do with medicine though. I don't think I could manage dealing with someone's fate in my hands, not to mention all the years of studying I would have to do._

 _Truly, I only want a bachelor's degree right now. But Aunt Harriet is already talking about a master's degree…in just five years of college. While I'm not an idiot and I do think of myself as intelligent and bright I don't think I have the ability or the patience to pull off a masters in five years when I haven't even started a bachelor's degree._

 _Well, it's still something I don't have to think about too heavily upon for at least two more years as I am only in the tenth grade still. Time at the moment is still on my side and may good humor be as well when I go shopping tomorrow._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Theresa_

Opening her eyes Tessa saw the blue sky immediately and just as suddenly she felt a throbbing pain in the back of her skull. Instantly she closed her eyes shut and slowly got up into a sitting position.

She felt as if she had been run over by a car and maybe she had as Tessa started to remember Mandy's scream and the quick glimpse of red before she found herself suddenly lying down on the concrete. Serves her right for wanting to get to the bookstore so fast and away from Mandy's questioning that she didn't even bother looking to see if there were any cars coming.

Opening her eyes Tessa looked down at her body to see if she saw any severe damage. There were a few cuts to her legs and splashes of blood on her shirt but nothing too extreme. Gingerly, she moved her arms around and winced. Her left wrist felt like it had a sprain.

Putting most of her weight on her right arm, Tessa pushed herself off the cold ground and again, winced and hobbled, as pain shot up her body. Her legs weren't broken exactly, or she was sure she would have fallen straight back down, but something certainly wasn't right about them as it hurt quite a bit to stand and walk.

Her school bag was open and her papers for school along with her notebook containing her letters to her mother were spilling out. Tessa crouched down picking up her notebook and papers, which were soggy and wet. Most of the papers were ruined by the water, but her notebook would survive the water damage.

Wait—water? Odd, it hadn't rained in months. Yet the street was damp with water as far as Tessa could see which made Tessa pause because the street looked odd as well. It was rough and unpaved and as Tessa continued staring down at it she wondered why she wasn't hearing Mandy calling for her asking if she was okay or the driver of the car checking on her and calling for 911. For Tessa was certainly injured and needed to go to the hospital.

Looking up, Tessa saw that she wasn't crouching in the street but instead was in some sort of alleyway. An alleyway that wasn't at all familiar to her.

 _What the hell_ , Tess thought, _was I abducted and dumped here?_

It was the only logical answer Tessa could think of for standing in an alley she had no idea how she had gotten into and the thought sent a shiver down her spine. She quickly opened her bag up searching for her phone and right now her only lifeline. Relief flooded through her as she opened her cell phone only for that relief to be dashed when she saw there was no signal. She tried calling the police anyway, but it was useless. With no signal she was only draining the battery which she didn't have too much left of anyway. Honestly though she should have expected the no signal. Whoever had dumped her in the alleyway wouldn't want her to be able to call for help, although…

Why wasn't she dead, then? The pain in her head thumped a steady beat as Tessa wondered if she had been shot in the head and somehow had survived the bullet. She reached up to touch the back of her skull and felt what she assumed was dry blood caked into her hair.

That was when she of course heard a great deal of commotion as if someone was fighting on the other side of the wall. Backing up slowly Tessa pondered running in the opposite direction. Whoever dumped her might not exactly be through with her yet. But behind her she heard a slithering and snapping and then a sinister hissing, "Come here." Tessa didn't bother turning around to see who it was but instead went towards the sound of the fighting. Whatever was on the other side of the wall surely had to be better than whatever was behind her.

"Jem!" someone shouted. "Where are you, you disloyal bastard?"

Tessa didn't pay much attention to the words being said as she should have, but only cared about the fact that it sounded like a human voice with a British accent.

She found him easily enough, standing in the entrance of another alleyway. She only saw the back of him before he disappeared around a corner after an "Over here," was sounded out. She hadn't gotten a good look at him, but from what she saw it had definitely been male, tall, dark raven hair, with a sword in his hand, which Tessa found odd but for one reason or another not all that terrifying as she probably should have.

She stared at the corner where he had disappeared. She did not want to run after the stranger as her head continued to pound and the pain in her legs, which for a moment she had forgotten in her fear, were shooting pain back up her spine. She grimaced, her bones may not have been broken from the hit but if she kept up this running around or even walking she surely was going to break something soon.

"Come here," the hiss sounded, directly behind her. Tessa froze. Whatever this was did not sound human and she certainly did not want to go anywhere near it.

The smell suddenly hit her of rotten eggs. Turning around Tessa looked back and saw something that was definitely not human and definitely not animal.

It came at her and letting out a scream Tessa turned and sprinted in the other direction ignoring the pain shooting up her leg, extremely grateful for that one year her mother had forced her to take track.

It had come down on her but missed although the cool breath hit the back of her neck sending shivers down her spine.

There was the sound of running and shouting again as not only did one boy appear but two from around the corner. Tessa didn't get a good look at them as she simply ran past them in her sprint.

"Well, this is interesting," a voice sounded behind her. More words were followed along with more commotion that Tessa didn't pay any particular attention to as she continued to run.

Then suddenly she felt a snap as she screamed from pain before finding herself once again back on the cold concrete, only this time she was on her hands and knees instead of her back.

 _Oh, lovely, now I really have gone and broken my ankle._

Looking behind her as she took in deep breaths she saw the two boys fighting whatever the demonic thing that had tried to snatch her was. Her head pounded as she watched as the creatures was slashed and spilled in two before it crumpled to the ground.

With the thing obviously dead now Tessa took a good look at the two boys who had killed it. She could see that one had black hair and was looking oddly proud of himself while the other had a very fair shade of blonde, it was hard to tell from this far away. Suddenly the boy's gazes turned towards her and as they approached Tessa looked at their features more closely.

She gasped.

 _No, not possible._

Black hair, blue eyes, mischievous look, silver hair, silver eyes, Asian features.

"My God," Tessa let out a breath when they were only a few feet in front of her.

The raven boy's eyes immediately sparkled. He looked at the girl from her head to her toes. She was wearing an unusual outfit for a prostitute and she was bloodied and bruised, especially for her head that was caked in dried blood as if she had been slammed into a wall. She looked incredibly pale and her eyes were wide with shock which was completely understandable for a mundane—a sightseeing one apparently—having come face to face with the demon that the boy had so valiantly killed with no help from his counterpart. Yet as Will studied her he knew that the mess she was in right now had nothing to do with the Shax Demon he had obliterated. Something had happened to her prior, possibly a consequence of her profession.

The boy's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. Without missing a beat he replied, "Well, you would certainly be my earliest declaration to date. I have yet to even have you in my bed."

The silver boy was about to reply to his companion, but Tessa cut him off. "Oh, shut up William," Tessa snapped catching Will off guard. The silver boy stared in shock at the strange mundane girl as well.

 _How in the bloody hell did she know my name? Gypsy? Psychic? Conniving warlock? Although with as much skin as she's showing I should be able to see her mark. Unless…it's in a more discrete location…_

"I'm going insane," Tessa muttered nodding her head up and down causing the two boys to exchange looks with one another. "I've completely lost my mind when my head hit the concrete," Tessa added, laughing at her own misfortune. "Yes, that's it, I must have just completely lost my mind now!"

"Uh, miss?" the silver boy asked as he kneeled down closer to the girl.

"I wouldn't get within biting distance of her, Jem. She could be rabid with the way she's foaming at the mouth, not to mention barking mad."

Jem ignored him and asked again, "Miss, are you alright?"

"No," Tessa replied as the pain in her forehead came reeling back with such force that it sent her falling backwards. Yet her head didn't hit the pavement this time as her limp body hovered over the street. She could feel an arm beneath her and she wasn't sure which boy had caught her as she slipped out of consciousness once again.


	4. Aftershock

**Chapter 3**

 **Aftershock**

" _There are no faster or firmer friendships than those formed between people who love the same books." Irving Stone_

 _Dear Mother,_

 _Do you think that is true? That books loved by the same people build the fastest, firmest friendships? I suppose if they were discussed and known by the two said individuals than it could be and probably is true and yet…_

… _is that all that can be formed is a solid friendship?_

 _Well, now, I'm just getting ahead of myself._

 _I really miss you mom. I wish desperately that you were here. To love me, to advise me, because I, for one, have no idea what the hell I'm doing._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Theresa_

When Tessa opened her eyes the first thing she saw was not a blue sky. It was still the color blue, but not as light in shade. It was darker like those of the ey—

Tessa squeezed her eyes shut tightly enough that behind her lids she started seeing stars.

"Tessa!" someone exclaimed beside her. "Oh, thank god, you're awake! I wasn't sure you would ever stir again." She felt a sudden pair of arms around her neck grasping her along with the faint smell of butterscotch.

 _Mandy. Thank God, it was just a dream._

Opening her eyes again Tessa could see the light cream color of Mandy's shoulder length hair before she pulled away. "When I saw that car hit you. I just—" Mandy shook her head unable to finish the sentence. "It went by so fast. One minute you were standing and the next you were crumbled up against the sidewalk. I thought…" Mandy's voice was starting to break as her eyes started getting watery. "I thought you were dead. You weren't moving or anything. And here, at the hospital, the doctors said your injuries weren't too serious. A sprained wrist, a fractured bone in your leg, a broken ankle, bruises, cuts, and only slight swelling of the brain." She was shaking her head as she stood up and began to pace in front of the bed.

"Mandy." Tessa's voice was hoarse as if it had been weeks since she talked.

Yet Mandy continued, "Can you believe that 'slight swelling of the brain,' they said, 'it's nothing too major, really'. How can that possibly not be something serious? It's the brain!" She threw her hands in the air as she stared out the window and the darkened sky. It was night. "But, I guess it could have been much, much worse. Apparently, the car wasn't going too fast and you hit it at just the right angle to cause fairly minimal damage at least according to the doctors."

"Mandy," Tessa tried again, her voice still hoarse.

Suddenly Mandy's head snapped back as she said, "Oh, you must be thirsty, aren't you? One of the nurses said you might want water when you wake up." She went back over to the side of the bed where the nightstand was and grabbed the glass of water sitting there and handed it to her.

Sitting up higher in the bed Tessa reached for the glass, happy for it and actually wanting it. But Mandy was already starting up again about the doctors and her concern for whether or not they actually earned their degrees the legal way. "Mandy," Tessa said again, "I'm fine. Everything is fine." Her friend seemed to exhale a little from that. "I feel…well…" Tessa looked down at her bruised body. "I don't feel great, but trust me when I say I could not be happier to be in this hospital room with just you beside me."

Mandy tilted her head and gave her a strange look. She didn't understand the strange dream Tessa had and the fact that Tessa was so relieved that it was only a dream. Because of course that's all it could ever be. No one could ever travel back in time and for that matter no one could travel into a novel. Just an overreaction from her imagination probably caused by her head slamming into the concrete. Tessa was actually surprised to hear there was only a little swelling compared to how much her head hurt, although it was a dull throb now.

Taking a sip of the water she told Mandy about the whole strange dream she had while she had been unconscious. And strangely enough she remembered every detail vividly unlike her normal dreams, even the features of the…the demon that she had encountered in the dream stood out to her. It was certainly one of the more realistic dreams she had had in her life and the most memorable one on top of that.

"Seriously?" Mandy squeaked holding her palms up to her lips. "You are so lucky. I mean—not about the getting hit by the car thing, but about having the dream of going into the book. I always wanted to have a dream like that." Her eyebrows furrowed as she paused. "I wondered what type of demon it was. A Shax, maybe, who wanted to drag you back to the nest." She shrugged as she thought it over.

"A Shax Demon?" Tessa asked.

Mandy looked at her slightly exasperated, "They're a parasite demon." She looked at Tessa as if this was supposed to make complete sense to her. "Trackers. Used by warlocks sometimes." When Tessa still didn't answer, Mandy added, "You really need to read the Mortal Instruments Series and you would have a better idea about these demons."

"Yeah, that's exactly what my imagination needs a better idea on fictional demons to haunt me in my sleep." Tessa laid back down in the bed. "That would be just perfect. To have ideas of how they could kill and torture me would be even grander."

Mandy simply rolled her eyes at this. "Oh, but that wouldn't happen, drama queen. Those two shadowhunter boys would come just in the nick of time to save you and look good doing it. By the way, how did they look again?"

"I already told you five times, Mandy. Nothing about their physical descriptions has changed in the last fifteen minutes," Tessa replied and yawned.

"You're getting tired. You should probably get some rest. My mother always said the best medicine was sleep."

Tessa's eyelids were getting heavier as she looked back over at Mandy. "How long was I asleep before?"

"Five hours, six, somewhere around there."

Turning her head Tessa stared at the bright lights of civilization and the few stars that sparkled in the dark sky as Tessa closed her eyes with a small smile on her face. She was so relieved to know that she hadn't gone completely mental.

 _It was all just a dream. Nothing more than a dream…_


	5. The Institute

**A/N: Spoilers for Clockwork Prince.**

 **Chapter 4**

 **The Institute**

" _Love is the extremely difficult realization that other than oneself is real." Iris Murdoch_

 _Dear Mother,_

 _How can you tell whether or not something is real?_

 _I know that is probably a strange question I should be asking you, but I don't think I know the answer anymore. It shouldn't be real, I know logically it shouldn't, and yet it feels so real. I can remember the touch, the taste, the smell, I can recall almost every word spoken, every look thrown my way as if it had occurred in everyday life, as if it had occurred yesterday._

 _But that can't possibly be true. Can't be possibly be real. Their dreams, only dreams, and nothing more, that's what everyone keeps telling me at least. And yet…_

 _If they are simply dreams then why do they feel so real? Why do I feel I have so much control over them and then at the same time so little?_

 _My difficult realization at the moment has nothing to do with love, but rather if anything I see or do is real or not?_

 _Sincerely,_

 _Theresa_

 _P.S. I'm hoping to God that I'm not crazy. Do you think you can give him the message?_

Tessa was awake long before she opened her eyes. But for one reason or another she didn't want to open her eyes. Maybe it was because of the fact that it was so quiet and peaceful around her with no sound beeping or shuffling sounds. Or maybe because deep within her she knew where she was and she didn't want to open her eyes to see the truth for herself, she wanted to prolong the inevitable. But either way she was eventually going to have to open her eyes and see for herself and as she did the only thought in her mind was, _it is way too quiet for a normal hospital_.

Sure enough Tessa didn't see the television in the corner of the room buzzing or see Mandy sitting in a chair next to her. She did see several other beds surrounding her although luckily there were no other patients within them. But she should have already known that, shouldn't she? In the book the only person hurt in the beginning was the character Theresa Gray.

 _Yes, great just great._

Tessa sat up in the bed looking around the infirmary. It was as she suspected, large and spacious, and only mildly decorated with Victorian-like objects.

Well, it was her dream and the last place she wanted to be was stuck in a bed. It was time to explore the institute and everyone it contained.

Moving over to the side of the bed Tessa looked down at herself and saw that instead of her dirty, ripped clothing she was wearing a long white nightgown unlike the one she had been dressed in in the actual hospital. Strangely, this nightgown was a lot more comfortable.

Looking further down she saw that her right ankle was bandaged up tightly. _Oh right, broken ankle._

That was going to cause some problems because even though she was dreaming she knew from last time she could still feel pain in the dream that felt incredibly real. And besides, as far as she knew she was sleepwalking during this whole process.

She would need some type of a crutch but as she looked around the room she didn't spy anything useful for her to use. She wondered if people even used or knew about crutches in the 19th century. Most likely not. She would have to make do.

So instead she stood up from the bed putting all her weight on her left leg, which while strained, was able to take the additional load. She hopped over to the door of the infirmary and knew that she looked absolutely ridiculous. But it was either hopping and dealing with the slight discomfort and pain or lying around in the bed waiting for someone to magically appear. Although, this was a dream and someone should have already appeared out of thin air by now. Still, no one came and there was no way that Tessa was aware of in getting someone to appear, so she continued to hop all the way out through the door of the infirmary.

She was glad to get out of the room, she certainly wasn't in any hurry to see a Silent Brother or her imagination of a Silent Brother as that was the next character Tessa met while she had been stuck in the infirmary room.

She continued hopping down the hall at a slow pace with no real idea of where she was going. _Everyone would be downstairs, wouldn't they? But where is downstairs?_

"You have an issue with staying in one place, I see," someone called behind her.

Tessa didn't need to look behind her to know that it was William Herondale standing there. Or her imagination of him.

"I imagine I could say the same about you, Mr. Herondale," Tessa replied before turning around by awkwardly hopping. She forgot how much balance it took in hopping on one leg and she was teetering this way and that as she stared at Will.

Will, however, was giving her a very annoyed look. "How do you know my name? I never told you my first or last name and yet you already know of it. How is that?" He stepped towards her as Tessa continued to hobble around in place.

She really shouldn't know his name. She should have waited to be introduced to him. Regardless, this was her dream and she couldn't care and dream Will shouldn't care.

Shrugging she said, "Lucky guess, perhaps."

Will certainly didn't buy that answer. But with a slight tilt of a smile he said, "Perhaps, or perhaps not, Miss Theresa Gray, is it?"

Now Tessa narrowed her eyes. How did he know her name or did it really matter as this was only a dream?

"Apparently we're both lucky guessers."

"Apparently," Tessa agreed before losing her balance and catching herself against the wall.

"You really shouldn't be on your feet, Miss Grey," Will said as he came over to her. "You took an unpleasant fall earlier and there are several bones that are mending."

"Oh, and suddenly you're a doctor now," Tessa replied as Will's mischievous smile appeared.

"I certainly know my way around the human body, so I've been told. A special touch I have, they would say."

He was trying to get a rise from her, she knew, and she knew the reason for it as well. Looking at him she couldn't help but feel the pain and sadness of what he was going through or thought he was going through.

"Will—," Tessa began but couldn't finish as Will lifted a brow. She shouldn't be calling him by his Christian name, she knew, and she couldn't seem to find the words to tell him about the truth of the curse. At least not in this moment. "Mr. Herondale, I suppose you wouldn't mind helping me get around then, considering how much you probably enjoy playing doctor."

The curve of Will's lips turned as he looked at the girl with interest before sliding an arm fluidly through Tessa's as if they were attending a ball even though Tessa for certain would be appallingly dressed for such an event.

Tessa leaned against Will putting most of her weight on him.

"And where exactly, _Miss Gray_ , were you thinking of heading? As a mundane visitor you certainly don't know your way around the institute." Will's eyes shifted as he looked at her, studied her as Tessa tried to keep her arm steady in his. She had never been stared at so intently by a guy, or well, by anyone for that matter, before. It was unsettlingly and elating at the same time. "Although, somehow I would not be all that astonished if you did happen to know your way around this place."

"Mr. Herondale, I can assure you I do not." It was quite true; it was not as if the book had a map of the institute within its pages, only descriptions of rooms and the vague arrangement of where they were placed.

 _But surely I should be able to imagine myself standing in one of the rooms. This is a dream after all, one I know about. Why hadn't I thought about that before hopping ridiculously out of the infirmary?_

Tessa closed her eyes and tried to imagine the large library with the tall rows of bookshelves, a chair nestled close to the unlit fireplace, and the bars on the books as if they were a caged animal. She imagined the smell of the musty pages of the older books and could faintly hear the soft turn of a page.

And yet…all she could feel was Will's arm against her and his body heat so close to hers, which in itself was insane. This was a dream! William Herondale was not a real boy nor man but a fictional character who was now haunting her dreams. However he felt did not matter as it was all in her imagination, her very overactive, very real-like imagination.

"My condolences, it appears as if my looks alone have blinded you," a rich, British voice said beside her. She tried to ignore him, to pretend he wasn't there which was hard to do with the fact that he was keeping her standing. "Such a shame…you had such pretty eyes."

Eyes snapping open Tessa looked over at Will who seemed just as shocked—well, more like—disturbed by his own comment.

 _Pretty eyes? Since when has grey ever been considered a color of beauty?_

 _When the clouds used to roll over the mountains from the ocean—that grey is the colour of her eyes._

 _Oh, why did I let Mandy show me that letter?_

Letting out a breath and seeing that she was indeed still standing in the same exact hallway as before. So much for her being able to control her dreams. "Can you take me down to the…breakfast area? That's where everyone is, isn't it?"

"Yes," Will said slowly. "Breakfast area, you Americans are indeed a strange breed." He started walking forward as Tessa hopped along.

"Now, Miss Gray—"

"You can call me Tessa, if you would like." While the formality was nice and all it did get old after a while. She was feeling more of an old maiden and less like a teenage girl.

Will looked over at her and with a quirk of the lips and said, "Alright, Tessa, but I must ask the same for you."

"Certainly, Will—iam," Tessa responded extending the syllables and clucking her tongue. He gave her a strange look. It was fun messing with him especially since it really didn't matter what she did or said as nothing here was real.

"As I was speaking earlier before your interruption, can you tell me what exactly occurred to you, _Tessa_ , that caused you to be the state you are in currently?" He looked down at her bandaged ankle with a slight crease in his brow.

"Nothing to be too concerned about, a broken ankle, really, along with only bruises, scratches, a sprain, and a fractured bone," Tessa stated and then frowned. "Although I'm slightly considered about the brain swelling." A smile came across her face. Brain swelling, of course that was why she was having these strange dreams, that explained it all. "But nothing too worrisome, my health is in good hands I know."

"Yes, Charlotte will certainly make sure your injuries are well treated for," Will responded still giving her strange looks. She knew that to this dream Will she shouldn't know of her injuries. She wasn't even sure if they knew about brain swelling back then, it wasn't as if they could perform any procedures to see inside your head without killing you.

"It was a car though," Tessa added. "A car was what hit me before…before I came into contact with that monster."

"A car?"

"It's like a horse-drawn carriage in a way." It was going to get quite tiresome if she had to explain a lot of the things she said. Why couldn't her brain just program this type of knowledge into her dream characters' heads? Why did it have to make it so difficult? Or so damn Victorian for that matter.

"So, you were run over by horses," Will said, not sounding as if he believed her.

Sighing Tessa responded, "I said it was like a carriage not that it was one. And no, definitely not, it would have been more of the carriage part than the horse part that ran me over."

Will still didn't seem to believe her much but as they came to the top of the staircase Will asked, "And how exactly, Tessa, did you come upon that alleyway after your brush with an object similar to a carriage, your so called 'car'?"

Looking at his dark blue eyes Tessa's throat constricted slightly. "Because that apparently was where my mind wanted to send me."

His eyes narrowed as he asked, "Are you trying to insinuate that you're a warlock?"

Laughing, Tessa replied, "No, definitely not. If there's one thing for sure it's that I'm human, one hundred percent, with the apparent misfortune to wind up in this strange place. But I'm certainly no witch but all…mundane."

"Strange place? I take that as an insult."

Shrugging Tessa replied, "Take it however you want. It doesn't matter to me." Looking down the staircase Tessa asked, "Are we going to go down or just stand here chatting all day?"

Without much hesitation Will released Tessa before quickly bending down and lifting her into his arms, shocking Tessa which by the way Will was smirking was part of the plan.

This was the first time that she knew of that he was carrying her. She could feel Will's hand on the underside of her bare knees and she tried not to shiver.

"William! What on heavens are you doing with that poor girl? She shouldn't be out of bed." At the bottom of the staircase Tessa could see a plump woman with brown hair tied up in a bun looking up at them with very stern brown eyes. _Charlotte._ "Put her back into bed this instance."

"Are you actually ordering me to bed a girl, Charlotte?" Will asked with a cheeky grin.

Tessa ducked her head barely able to look down at the woman who seemed to be turning slightly red. Her expression turned stern. "You know what I meant, William. Put her back into the bed in the infirmary. One of the silent brothers will be here soon to assess the damage."

Tessa couldn't help the shiver that ran down her body from the word 'silent brother'. They had always given her the creeps when reading about them, but to see one of them in person…it was too much.

Will looked down at her with a concerned expression having felt the trembling.

"No, it's fin—alright Charlotte, Mrs. Branwell?" Tessa words were getting jumbled in her head. She couldn't remember what the book Tessa had called the woman. She was pretty sure it was Charlotte, the woman was only twenty or so, but wasn't that after she had been told to call her by her first name, her Christian name. "I got out of bed myself. William was just helping me get around." The woman lifted an eyebrow at that. "I really shouldn't be here, I need to leave."

This got a chuckle out of Will that reverberated through his chest. "Leave, Tess? You cannot even walk down a simple hallway without bouncing around on one foot. As amusing as it is to watch it will not get you very far."

"I…" Tessa was struck by the fact that he was already using his nickname for her. It shouldn't affect her so much as it shouldn't be a surprise, and yet it did. "I don't want to be seen by one of the Silent Brothers. You can tell Brother Enoch to leave."

Will was staring down at her with surprise mixed with concern as Tessa fidgeted with her hands.

 _Is that so?_

She could feel Will jump as all three of them were startled by the brother's presence.

Tessa looked down at the silent brother. His hood was up but she could still faintly see the milky white skin with dark scars running across his face. They were even more frightening to see then when she read—

Instantly Tessa tried to make her mind go blank. _They can read minds. That's their ability._

She didn't know why but she did not want him to read her mind. It was silly when in truth he shouldn't be able to do much to her and yet she hoped he would know as little as possible about her.

Unveiling his hood he stared up at her and Will with unseeing eyes. Will shifted, apparently as uncomfortable with the silent brother as she felt.

 _It is foolish child to try to hide your thoughts from me. For while reading minds is one of my abilities, it is not my only one. I can shift through your thoughts as well and with your concerns about me being able to read your thoughts, of you being so fearful of me, only encourages me to venture further into your mind as you seem to have some secret to harbor._

Tessa tried to shrink back into Will, turning her face into his chest, as if she could use another body as a shield to protect herself. It was a useless effort on her part, she knew, but it was a last ditch attempt at protection, at privacy.

She could feel Will's hands tighten on her as if he was sensing her distress and was trying to protect her. She was grateful for it gave somewhere for her mind to go, to thinking about his hands and the way they felt—anything to stay away from the truth.

 _I'm losing my mind. Crazy. Warm. Crazy. Rough. Crazy. Calloused. Crazy…._

What felt like hours but was only a few minutes the silent brother spoke again echoing his thoughts through her mind. _Interesting._

"What is it Brother Enoch? What is she?"

 _Human! I'm human!_

 _A time traveler, perhaps._

"A time traveler?" Charlotte asked, startled.

"What year are you from?" Will asked and Tessa could feel his gaze.

"2012," Tessa mumbled into his shirt. "August of 2012."

"Oh my, that's over one-hundred and thirty four years into the future," Charlotte said stunned. "But how can a mundane possibly travel from the future? She can't be a mundane, can she?"

"Of course I'm a mundane," Tessa shouted, turning her head from Will's chest and staring down at the woman and the brother at the bottom of the stairs. "I'm a girl, a regular girl, in some messed up dream talking to characters from a book." She could feel her eyes start to blur with tears. "I'm just a girl," she mumbled. "A girl losing her mind."

"Characters from a book? What does she mean by that?" Charlotte asked the brother ignoring Tessa while Will just looked stun.

 _That is the truly interesting part,_ Brother Enoch responded, apparently in all their heads. _She read a book, actually two books, about us and our world._

"Impossible," Charlotte said dumbfounded as she shook her head. Fear was etched across her face.

 _No. A Cassandra Clare has written several novels about our world, about the Shadowhunters, and this girl has apparently read two of them that are set in London in 1878, about us. Clockwork Prince. Clockwork Angel. There were many interesting events that took place in those books and some events that have already taken place now or are shaping to take place._

"What do you mean they've taken place now?"

 _One of the characters in the novel goes by a Theresa Gray. Her name. This meeting, although Will had not been involved, took place within the novel in the infirmary. This event isn't turning the same as the one in the novel but there are too many similarities not to notice them. She knows much about our world, and many of us._ Even though his eyes could not be seen Tessa knew his gaze was set on Will. Why couldn't the brother tell him for her? _Secrets about even you Will._ Will seemed to tense instantly at this statement as Charlotte stared up at him in curiosity.

It felt as if Will was getting ready to bolt and dive head first into the Thames River. She was amazed that he hadn't dropped her yet like a sack of potatoes.

 _I wouldn't commit to the idea of suicide quite yet William. This girl can actually help you if what she has read is all truth._ Brother Enoch turned to Charlotte. _In the meantime I must get back to the Silent City and share with my brothers what I have learned from this girl. I would not let her out of your sight Mrs. Branwell. The knowledge she possesses could be very powerful and very dangerous._

"Certainly," Charlotte replied. "We'll make sure she's safe here." She glanced up at Will. "Take her back to the infirmary William." She glanced at Tessa still in his arms and shook her head in disbelief before turning back to the silent brother. "I'll show you the way out then."

When the two of them had left Will hurriedly carried Tessa all the way back to the infirmary. There was no humor or mischief in his gaze only a steady seriousness that frightened Tessa. It was a dark look.

"Will?" He didn't acknowledge her.

It didn't take long for them to reach the infirmary and for Will to drop Tessa back onto the bed and to turn and lock the door of the infirmary.

Tessa let out a small hiss as she bounced on top of the bed from Will's ungraceful drop. "Will," she snapped as she looked over to see him locking the infirmary doors.

 _I didn't know the infirmary had a lock on its doors. It of course would be just like my imagination to put it there._

Will turned to her and the look he had sent Tessa shuffling to the headrest of the bed. She did not like that look at all. It was a murderous look.

Storming over to her side Will looked at her and asked, "What do you know?"

"What do you mean?" Tessa asked even though she knew exactly what he was talking about.

Will grabbed her forearm with a hard pressure as he said through gritted teeth, "Do not play with me Miss Gray. You heard the silent brother. You know a secret about me…read a secret…what secret is it that you know."

"You're hurting me, Will," Tessa replied, not answering, not knowing how to answer. _How do I tell him? How do I get him to listen?_

"Tell me what you think you know."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because…I'm afraid you won't listen to everything I have to say to you. You'll hear the one sentence that comes out of my mouth and run to the nearest river to throw yourself into. Brother Enoch was right when he said I could help you. But I can only do that if you're willing to listen to every word I have to say." Tessa let out a breath and held the gaze of the boy who appeared to be drowning.

Will stared hard at her, his gaze softening slightly. "Tell me then."

He let go of her arm as Tessa clutched it back to herself. "Only if you prom—swear to me that you will listen to every word I have to tell you before you make any rash decision, until I say I am done with my story."

With a steady gaze, Will let out a soft, "I swear."

Taking a breath Tessa plunged in ahead with the truth, "The curse isn't real, Will. You were tricked."

Will sank down onto the bed next to Tessa's feet as if he suddenly had lost the strength to stand. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"The demon tricked you Will. He couldn't put a curse on you. A curse would have taken too much strength, strength he didn't have being trapped all those years within that box. That box drains a demons power. However, he did kill your sister, Ella. Not through a curse though. Never a curse. It was his tail. Do you remember?"

Will was staring ahead of himself, not heeding Tessa, but she knew he was still listening even though his mind was somewhere else, someplace far in his own mind.

"His tail was poisonous and it struck Ella in the chest, straight through her heart, when she was trying to fight him. The poison, the demon poison, was what killed her, not a curse."

Will didn't respond. "Will?" Tessa asked placing a hand on his shoulder. He moved his shoulder out from under her hand and stood up. "Will," Tessa said desperately, fearing he didn't believe her. He didn't pause in step as he walked to the door. "You swore. You took a gentlemen's oath," Tessa shouted, not even sure what she herself was saying but willing to say anything at this point. _This is just a dream; I should not be this concerned._

Regardless, it seemed to work as Will froze but didn't turn back around.

"Go to the warlock Magnus Bane." At that Will looked back her, confused. "Have him summon the demon for you. The demon's name is Marbus, if that helps."

There was silence as they stared each other down.

"Can I leave?" Will asked his expression still unchanged.

Tessa was afraid of what he would do if he left but she felt a wave of weakness wash over her and knew there wasn't much else she could tell him. She had told him everything, it was up to him to believe her—a mundane with silly delusions—or not. She could only hope that he would go to Magnus that he would conjure the demon up himself as that was what appeared to work in the book.

 _That blasted book. As if any of this is real._

"I am done—," Will unlocked the door and bolted out of the room, "—with my story."

With that said Tessa fell back against the pillows exhaustion taking over her body.


End file.
